So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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