If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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