ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize