is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success