it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
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Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place