Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.