remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules