let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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