(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
