sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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