I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He shit in the fireplace
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
