Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize