I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Still dying that you shit outside
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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