we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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