Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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