I will die if light touches me.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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