one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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