Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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