when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
