ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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