my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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