For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
