I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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