And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
