I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
