walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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