It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
