I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Naked. naked and bneed help.
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