i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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