I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is wine microwaveable?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
