I hate all girls vehemently.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
