you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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