At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
