Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
