im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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