I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
