i just google imaged poop.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My feet surprised me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
