i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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