I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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