I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
