let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
