Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How's work?
Spinning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
