Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
