i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The air taste purple.
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