Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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