one might say we're banned from that church
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
