Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
