If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
