Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You don't make any sense
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