Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
