After last night, I could never be a politician.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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