I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
