Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize