so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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