I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
