Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
