So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
