He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
