my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize