Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
