HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
