my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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