I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
