it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
