yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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