You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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